Send all submissions to

Submitters will remain strictly anonymous unless otherwise requested. Include the pseudonym of your choice. Conversely, if you would like me to plug your website, or Twitter, or Facebook page, let me know.

-If you would like to submit an imaginary terrorist plot, type “Imaginary Plot” in the subject line.

– If you would like to submit a proposed addition to the Insider’s TSA Dictionary, type “TSA Dictionary” in the subject line.

– If you would like to ask a question as a passenger, type “Letter From a Passenger” in the subject line.

– If you are an airport screener of some type, and would like to ask a question, type “Letter From a Screener” in the subject line.

-If you have something else interesting and well-written that does not fall into one of these categories, go ahead and send it.

I welcome hate mail, although I do retain the right to publish it on this site.

Some reasons I may reject your submission:

-It was just an angry passenger rant about some dumb or outrageous thing a TSA employee did to you. While I do not for one minute doubt that the TSA did in fact do some dumb and outrageous thing to you, try to bring a sense of humor and structure to your expression of it.

-It failed to display even a basic level of grammatical proficiency and or spelling. If you are a TSA employee, I will offer some leeway on this— a government discount.