While planning this blog back in 2011, I thought it necessary to do a lot of research into whether or not there were other current or former TSA employees out there who had started a blog. The purpose of this post is to make me feel as though all those hours of Googling “TSA worker blog,” “Former TSA employee,” “TSA officer blogger” weren’t for nothing. So before I forget, here are the meager fruits of my labor.
In all those hours of research, I found two blogs by former TSA screeners, and one YouTube account by a self-proclaimed current screener. The YouTube account was a girl in her early 20s with a slight Southern accent– a video-confessional affair– asking that passengers stop complaining about the TSA, because it was her opinion that passengers were ruining everything at the airport. The best part of the 5 minute video was when she, the TSA screener, admits that:
“Yeah, OK, some of us are fat and lazy, and some of us steal, but still, ya’ll need to shut the fuck up.”
It had about 700 views when I found it. I couldn’t help but think that if TSA management at her airport got wind of that video, the TSA-YouTuber would probably be in some amount of hot water. I’m almost reluctant to bring this up now, due to the possibility that the girl is still employed by the TSA, and that someone will now find the video and call her out on it, but then again, now that I think about this sentence, I realize that I am not at all reluctant to bring this up, because it would probably be best for everyone if someone found that video and called her out on it.
I can’t seem to find one of the other blogs by a former TSA screener, either, which is a shame, because it was pretty good, if I recall correctly. I realize that I’m failing you guys right now. It was an intimate little joint with a recurring feature titled “Sketches from the Exit Lane,” or something like that, which consisted of drawings the blog’s owner had done while sitting bored on the exit lane at his airport. That’s about all I remember. I found it one night, failed to save the blog’s address, and haven’t been able to find it since. If you’re out there, Sketches, email me your blog, please.
And now, for the finale. The first blog by a former TSA screener that I ever found. It took me about an hour of Googling to rediscover this, but mission: accomplished. If you guys aren’t familiar with Mom Vs. World, you’re in for a treat.
Mom Vs. World is a mommy blog/shamelessly search engine-optimized and monetized affair. According to the about page, it’s run by a 39-year-old woman who has held many job titles, including that of Transportation Security Administration Officer, a position she held for about 5 years. Mercifully, Mom Vs. World has steered clear of TSA discussion for most of its history in favor of more traditional mommy blog subjects . However, one day, back in November of 2010, Mom decided it was time for her to speak out as a former TSA screener, and show the world that it was, indeed, she who put the “Vs.” in “Mom Vs. World.”
And speak out she did. It was, truly, Mom vs. the World with that blog post, as you can see by all 545 comments. Here is an excerpt of what resulted (my favorite part is how, after vigorously defending the TSA, she admits that she has a huge dislike for TSA and would like to see a lot of managers get terminated. Yep, that’s a former TSA employee, alright, as all my TSA people can attest):
“TSA is the most hated government agency. TSA officers are very aware of that fact. We get that some of you come through and even though you hate it, you suck it up and do what you have to do. Then there are some of you who intentionally make things difficult. Screw you and stop it. It is a Federal crime to mess with a TSA officer trying to do their job and you will get arrested. You want to make a point and show your outrage to the world. TSA headquarters is in Virginia. Get on your little bike and ride…
I am not a spokeperson or representative for TSA in any way. I actually have a huge dislike for them and would like to see a good deal of management fired. These are my views and opinions and those of some of my friends and former co-workers who happen to still work for TSA.”
Ladies and gentlemen, after two false starts in which I began to tell you about things I’d found on the internet but can no longer find, I now give you the classic that was nearly lost…
“Shut Up and Get in the Scanner,” by Mom Vs. World.